THINGS FOR THESE DAYS WHEN WE NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE US SMILE
* Sign on a Bible in a book store: "Signed Copy." The new employee only had one job!!
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. "Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector. "Yes, that was it!" "You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!" "Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther." * Biblical Songs Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise" Lazarus: "The Second Time Around" Esther: "I Feel Pretty" Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues" Moses: "The Wanderer" Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp" Samson: "Hair" Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night" Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" Joshua: "Good Vibrations" Peter: "I'm Sorry" Esau: "Born To Be Wild" The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star" Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale" Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away" Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive" Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy" Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!" * Just three ingredients? Is that possible? With this easy cake recipe it is! Black Forest "Quickie"
What You'll Need: 1 (18.25-ounce) package devil's food cake mix 1 (21-ounce) can cherry pie filling 4 eggs
What To Do: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat a 9- x 13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. In a large bowl, combine all ingredients; mix well. Pour batter evenly into prepared baking dish. Bake 35 to 40 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
Serve as is or with simple topping below. Note: Here's a great topping idea: In a medium bowl, combine 1 (4-serving) package vanilla instant pudding and pie filling mix with 1 pint sour cream. That's all there is to this "homemade" topping that's perfect for this or almost any cake. Why, it even works as a dip for holiday fruit platters! OR, just use creamy chocolate frosting --- or a white frosting. Yum! * We can thank Carolyn Otto for finding this easy, breezy recipe. MISSISSIPPI ROAST Ingredients 1 (2-4 pounds) chuck, rump or rib roast 1 packet Hidden Valley ranch dressing mix 1 packet au jus brown gravy mix 1 packet Italian salad dressing mix (optional) 1 stick of butter 4-5 pepperoncini peppers (optional) ¼ cup water (optional) Instructions * Spray crock pot. * Place roast in the slow cooker. * Rub roast with salt, pepper and garlic. (optional step) * Sprinkle the top with the mixes. * Place peppers on top of the mixes. * Place stick of butter on top of the mixes (no need to cut it up) * Cook on low heat for 8 hours or high heat for 4 hours.
* If you want, add potatoes, carrots and onions midway through cooking. They will be done when the roast is done.
Serve with noodles, rice or mashed potatoes. This would also be good in sandwiches. Enjoy!
NOTE: This makes its own gravy and lots of it. Adding the water just makes even more gravy. It’s still just as tasty and not watered down at all. So-o-o-o good and tender!